My Wedding Present Request

***Excessive use of the word DIARRHEA in the following post.  Run now, or forever hold your poop peace.



If someone could buy me stock in Pepto Bismol for my wedding, that would be great. Thanks.

 I have a feeling I'm going to be doing shots of it on my wedding day.

Hmmm, I wonder if you can mix it with Vodka.
A Peptini!



I'm kidding, sort of. Let me explain...when I'm nervous, excited, nervous about being excited. or just pretending to be ambivalent to the fact that I'm nervous or excited....I get diarrhea. Sometimes it's just soft poop...other times well...



Ok, not explosive, per se.....

It really sucks. And, the more I stress about it, the more likely it is to happen. It tends to rear it's putrid head when I travel or have a big event coming up.  It's got impeccable timing!



It's all anxiety derived...good or bad, I'm sure of it.  And needless to say, I am anticipating having to deal with it on my wedding day.

FABULOUS!

The funny thing is, I'm not nervous about marrying DG.  I'm not nervous to walk down the isle in front of my family and friends.  I'm also not nervous about any embarrassing toasts that may or may not happen. I'm just nervous about getting diarrhea.  And that in and of itself, will give it to me.

It's a BIG day, and thus quite a bit of anxiety goes along with it. Shit! (no pun intended) what if I'm getting ready and start having diarrhea...The make up dude & my hair girl are going to get a whiff! That would be soooooooo embarrassing. Plus I'm getting ready in a hotel room, it's not like I can blame it on anyone else in my family. "Damn Dad, must have snuck in here without us seeing!" Ahhh geez, I'm screwed.

You want to know the worst part, Pepto does not necessarily work for me in such cases. My bowels have a mind of their own. Thus, they like to say "eff you" to such drugs.

Advice?

It's ok if you want to run and hide now.

XOXO J