I Am In Effing Love With This Chick.

I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. This chick is hilare. The End.


;)

XOXO J

I Like Champagne.

I cannot believe it's been (2) months since my last post?!? Ok...I can believe it. You know how it is, the holidays hit and you're thrown into a whirlwind of social engagements, shopping, present wrapping, courtesy nods to fellow commuters, burning shit baking & overall insanity. Well that was me, minus the social engagements.  I work for a very small company, literally just me & my lovely boss K. So needless to say, we didn't have a company X-Mas party...which kinda bummed me out....but she did buy me an iPhone, so I'm willing to overlook it. SWEEEEET.  My HUSBAND (I don't think I'll ever get use to saying that, let alone typing it...so we'll just stick to calling him DG as per usual)  had no desire to attend his company X-Mas party, so that was out too. And let's face it, I don't have TONS of friends, so we didn't get invited to any parties. But all in all, this is ok with me. We're super close to our immediate family & were able to spend lots of time with them and close family friends. Plus there was plenty of champagne, which is always a goody thing, cause I like champagne.....ALOT.

Like me, minus the pug nose & black hair.

I don't just drink champagne during special occasions, I drink it whenever I feel like it...which is usually once a week?!  Seriously, champagne makes any occasion feel special. Feeling crappy cause it's Monday? Have a glass of champagne. Bummed it's only Wednesday, have a glass of champagne. Spending Friday night doing laundry & cleaning the litter box? Have a glass of champagne. I swear, it's a celebration in a glass.  In makes pretty much any situation feel FABULOUS.

I'm not picky either. It doesn't have to be real champagne from the "Champagne" region of France....it can be sparkling wine...as long as it's dry & not too ridiculously sweet.  But even then, I'll probably drink it. Funny really, considering I don't like white wine. Wait, let me rephrase that. I like white wine.....WITH BUBBLES!

How about you? Do you like the bubbly stuff ;) ?

XOXO J

Constipation + PMS + Too Much Food & Alcohol =

.........A Very Unhappy Jen.

Yup that's right, I'm bloated as all get out. Christ, I feel like I ate 5lbs of beans. 

OR 

Turned into Violet.........

 Truthfully, the bloat stems from PMS, lack of poo-ing and too much food & alcohol......at an all inclusive resort. Yes that's right folks, I got married & posted about it HERE.

It was truly an amazing weekend. Our families are from two different worlds....Minnesota & California ;) yet they get along fabulously.  Both of our families are very down to earth, warm & loving people. I grew up here in San Diego with a very small family & DG has a huge family from MN.  I had no idea I'd feel so lucky to have gained a boat load of new relatives.  But I do!

It's funny that now the wedding is over, I feel a hundred times more relaxed.  It's like I have nothing to stress about, nothing to think about....except for that pesky bloat issue of course.

And yes, I'm eating prunes & taking psyllium husk.  Usually that combo works fab, but right now it's taking it's slow ass time, no pun intended.

Anyhoo, just thought I'd update a bit.

Before I go, a friendly reminder that:

Feel Your Bewbs!

XOXO J

I Would Pay Him To Speak Swedish To Me.

I kid you not, I would.

*Fans self*

This is like my own personal porn.



Hope you enjoyed. I sure did.

XOXO J

OUCH!

Earlier this week, Wednesday to be exact, I went in to my Doctor for a physical. Now, I'm one of those people that only goes to the Doctor if I have an "issue"...a bad cough that just won't go away, a bout of eczema, an injury.... Don't get me wrong, I see my gynecologist every year, but I haven't gone for an overall physical since around 2004. So needless to say, I figured it was about time. 

I did the standard blood work the week before & was a little nervous...it's in my nature to be a nervous nelly.  Anyways, it turns out all my levels were fine....EXCEPT my cholesterol!  It was a "bit" high.  The my good fat (HDL) was good, but my bad fat (LDL) was a little higher than she'd like to see. I was sort of floored. Now if any of you know me, I'm not an unhealthy person...in that I eat pretty well & exercise.  I asked the Doc what it could be and she asked me the following questions:

1. Do you eat a lot of red meat? No, maybe once or twice a month.
2. Do you eat a lot of fried food? Definitely not.
3. Do you eat a lot of high fat dairy? Um...I drink non fat milk...
4. Ok...do you eat lots of cheese? YES!

She laughed and said she used to come home from work and eat almost a block of cheddar cheese & crackers while she watched her Soaps. I laughed too & said that cheese is my biggest vice.  I eat it multiple times a day if I can. 

She said mayo and sour cream are also  huge cholesterol culprits...and I love both. It's not that I wasn't aware that cheese, mayo & sour cream aren't good for you, but I think I just didn't realize exactly how much I was consuming. She said if my good fat had been low, she'd be more worried, but basically just said I should cut down on those products a bit.  SIGH............

After our talk about my blood work, she looked at all my moles [I hate that word with a passion] and freckles and said they all looked fine, phew!  Then it was time to tell me that I needed a whooping cough vaccine. I knew it would come up, seeing as my Sister just had one.  She mentioned since I was 6 yrs out on my tetanus, that she'd include that too. Soooo, I got a TDAP, which is a Tetanus/Whooping Cough/Diphtheria combo. Fabulous. I know tetanus shots tend to hurt, and ES ended up being really sore and running a fever from her TDAP shot....I wasn't thrilled.

If only this bitch knew how bad her arm is going to hurt...

So yes, the shot stung. And yes it was a bit sore all day yesterday. But by the evening, it was killing me. When I went to get in to bed I had a split second memory lapse and went to lay on my left side as per usual...

OUCH!!!!!!!!!!

That hurt like a bitch! Holy sh*t it was bad.  I ended up crying for about 2 minutes. I literally spent the whole evening trying not to roll over into my favorite sleeping position. Even this morning it feels as though someone treated my left should like a punching bad.

FML.

Apparently they are making most people get them these day...Good luck!

XO J

HBO.com Rocks!

For my bridal shower, I received a $50 Visa Gift Card from a friend to use as I pleased.  I should have put it towards a new bikini for my honeymoon, or even new work shoes...but I wandered on over to HBO.com because of course, I have been jonesing for some True Blood paraphernalia.

I'd seen this pink Pam-inspired Fangtasia t-shirt that I just had to have.  After reading many of the reviews about it running SUPER SMALL, I decided to order a large. Good thing I did, because even the large is very fitted.  Isn't it cute?!  I don't wear my Twilight tees out in public, not even to Twi-events...but for some reason I felt this shirt was totally acceptable to wear out last night to meet my friend for a drink at a local bar. 

Is that weird?

Love how this angle and the way I'm stretched totally gives me a tiny tummy.

Here's the back of the shirt.

 Fangtasia's ficticious address.

As I was about to purchase the shirt, I decided to go back and look to see if there was anything else somewhat cheap I could add onto my order so as not to have a few dollars left over on my card. You know, I wanted to get the biggest bang for my buck ;)  When I left my virtual shopping basket to go look, a little message popped up in red that said "Cart Abandonment Discount 20% Off!"

SWEET! So I went and added this little baby and had just enough $! 

Fabulous for my morning coffee!

HBO.com has tons of neat items from many of our favorite shows. Check it out!

Can't wait to wear my Fangtasia shirt again!

XOXO J

I Want To Be This Girls Left Boot. Bad.

I stumbled across these lovely pics of Mr. Skarsgard while perusing I'm Not Obsessed.

According to the site, ASkars is in NYC filming a move called "What Maisie Knew."

Can I please please please be this little girls left boot?

Puh-leeeease?!

Look at his arm...lucky bitch.

Kidding!

Look at those pouty lips!



And I'm done.

No wait!

@misstejota get your ass out there girl! Find him!

XOXO J