Apparently I'm Not Dressed For the Part

So the little dude is into EVERYTHING, as is customary for a 10.5 mos old. If he's not supposed to have it, he wants it....the remote control, the cord to my computer, my glass of wine, a piece of loose chokable carpet, antique books, the cats food...all items are fair game. And why should he not want these things? He doesn't understand the concept of danger yet, let alone the concept of "off limits." So DG & I do our best to just re-direct him at this point. We feel if you say "No" all day long, it loses it's value...Mind you he certainly knows "NO" is a serious thing, but he's still to young to understand why he can pull his books down off of the low shelf in his room, but not the ones from our giant book case in the living room. This of course leads me to baby proofing.... 

We live in a pretty small condo, which sounds easy in theory, but we're sorely lacking in storage space. We've put locks on all of the cabinets in the kitchen, sans the tupperware one, as it's a temporary distraction while trying to do the dishes or cook. Charlie LOVES pulling everything out and clanking it all around....or simply chewing on it.

Little Stinker

We did recently purchase a Munchkin brand plastic sliding baby gate, which we LOVE. It's super easy to use and remove, plus it's the perfect height for us midgetly inclined peeps. Yes, I just said midgetly. Moving on...

Now the gate we have is great for keeping the little dude from roaming down the hallway while we're in the living room & moving around into different doorways as needed. However, it doesn't come close to fitting the space that divides off the kitchen from the living room. He is obsessed with the storage area below the oven (where you keep extra pots & pans.) Plus he's so curious about the cat food & has taken an interest in our pub-style chairs. All this said, we need to invest in another gate. They seem pretty expensive at Babies R Us and even on Target.com....but luckily a Mommy (on a Mommy page I belong to) posted about being in search of an extra wide one as well, and quite a few Mom's recommended Walmart.com. Here in So Cal, Walmart is kind of a joke...most of us are Target people, but I'm fully willing to admit we purchased our glider from Walmart,  as well as my current work desk. Both of which arrived super fast and were exactly as described. Plus, you truly couldn't beat the price.

So off I went to check out baby gates on Walmart.com.....

*Please excuse the picture of my computer screen...I couldn't save the pics or figure how to take a screen shot of just the photo in particular. I'm lame, I know.

Anyhoo, this was the first I came across, but it was too short....and um...

Is it 1990? Or is that how Moms dress? Umm if that's the case....apparently I'm not dressed for the part.

YIKES

Then I found one more like the one we already have....nope, still needed a longer one...

Kids are smart, see how she's pointing!

Little does Mommy know, Rover just had the runs..... 

all over her lilly white duvet.

Oops.

Then I narrowed down my search, for EXTRA LONG gates...and this is what popped up:

Pssst...don't tell little Billy that he could ride his trike on the grass, 

AROUND the gate.

Then this one came up...it's not extra long and it's for use with stairs, so not going to work...sigh...

Kate Gosselin wants her hair back.

And then folks, I think I found it, the holy grail of gates, but low and behold it was out of stock. 

Fabulous.

Till next time!

XOXO J

Periods, Poop & Pee...OH MY!

***First and foremost, this post is full of female-esque' TMI, just sayin'***

That said, you've got to love DG. I realized once again this evening how lucky I truly am.  I was sitting on the toilet peeing of course, as DG walks in to turn on the shower.  Granted we have two bathrooms, but I happened to be in the only one that we shower in. As he walks in, I quickly close my legs, carefully wipe and hurry to flush the toilet while guarding his view.

You see, I'm on my period...

DG's response, "Babe, you know that stuff doesn't bother me..."

Me, "I know, but I'm still trying to spare you the bloody mess."

DG, "It's not a big deal babe..."

I find this funny & very disturbing all at the same time.

Sure we have been together over 6 years, but I know & have heard of many men who would not be that chill about the whole period thing.  Yes he had Sisters, & yes he used to be an EMT....but it's never bothered him. I'm sure some of you are thinking his exposure to these things might lessen his attraction to me...oh contrare (sp?) my dear friends, it truly doesn't phase him.  I even went through cervical surgery a few years back & he dealt with the aftermath of my recovery ...ie me freaking out while in the shower because I thought my insides were falling apart...He came in, inspected the evidence and said I'm sure it's just dead tissue babe, remember they explained that, you're ok.

For real?!

DG & I have always been super open with each other...He was misdiagnosed (in his opinion) with Chrones disease at the age of 21 & had 3 feet of his intestine removed....Fortunately he hasn't had any 'major' issues since, so his lifelong symptoms seem more indicative of colistitis or severe IBS.  And myself, well I definitely have anxiety derived IBS to a certain degree. Needless to say, we have both experienced our share of issues together. That said, NO we don't poop in front of each other, but we also aren't secretive about it.  AND YES, we do pee in front of each other.   I still know couples that don't. To each his/her own I guess.

How open are you with your spouse or significant other?  Are they squeamish?

Just curious....

Side note: We don't bump uglies while I'm on my period...he's not into it & I wouldn't dare. I know...maybe we are the weird ones....

XOXO J

My Wedding Present Request

***Excessive use of the word DIARRHEA in the following post.  Run now, or forever hold your poop peace.



If someone could buy me stock in Pepto Bismol for my wedding, that would be great. Thanks.

 I have a feeling I'm going to be doing shots of it on my wedding day.

Hmmm, I wonder if you can mix it with Vodka.
A Peptini!



I'm kidding, sort of. Let me explain...when I'm nervous, excited, nervous about being excited. or just pretending to be ambivalent to the fact that I'm nervous or excited....I get diarrhea. Sometimes it's just soft poop...other times well...



Ok, not explosive, per se.....

It really sucks. And, the more I stress about it, the more likely it is to happen. It tends to rear it's putrid head when I travel or have a big event coming up.  It's got impeccable timing!



It's all anxiety derived...good or bad, I'm sure of it.  And needless to say, I am anticipating having to deal with it on my wedding day.

FABULOUS!

The funny thing is, I'm not nervous about marrying DG.  I'm not nervous to walk down the isle in front of my family and friends.  I'm also not nervous about any embarrassing toasts that may or may not happen. I'm just nervous about getting diarrhea.  And that in and of itself, will give it to me.

It's a BIG day, and thus quite a bit of anxiety goes along with it. Shit! (no pun intended) what if I'm getting ready and start having diarrhea...The make up dude & my hair girl are going to get a whiff! That would be soooooooo embarrassing. Plus I'm getting ready in a hotel room, it's not like I can blame it on anyone else in my family. "Damn Dad, must have snuck in here without us seeing!" Ahhh geez, I'm screwed.

You want to know the worst part, Pepto does not necessarily work for me in such cases. My bowels have a mind of their own. Thus, they like to say "eff you" to such drugs.

Advice?

It's ok if you want to run and hide now.

XOXO J